he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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