No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
