i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
