dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Don't make out with my wife yet
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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