Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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