would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
