apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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