he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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