Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
