Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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