dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
