she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
