I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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