I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that's an acceptable place to lick
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
