He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
