it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
