Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
