Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
