Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
