The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
