Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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