That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
