I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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