what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
