Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
