Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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