Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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