remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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