I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
