Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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