so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
3pm strippers are depressing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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