So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
