# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
