Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You took a bar mat shot.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
