Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize