U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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