i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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