i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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