On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
