Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i came on her dog
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
