The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's blow job season.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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