Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
