At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
