Non-Jews are for practice
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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