Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize