the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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