The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
