Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
