We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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