i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
only if we run a train.
done.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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