He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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