i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize