So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
