rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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