don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Michael Bay diarrhea
im holly from the hills drunk
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
