You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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