Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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