I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
