Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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