I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize