I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
