So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
