i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
