Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
